I can't lie. Everything I say is the honest truth and you can trust that every thing I say I mean. I am putting this in writing here, as I have no friends left. People just hate the truth don't they?
Ok. About me. Here goes.
Quite a while ago, I was actually born! That is a fact.
I was an odd kid and spent most of my time hanging onto my older sister by her ankles and she would drag me around with her. She was a trooper. That is a fact.
I spent most of my time at school flicking notes to other kids, who upon reading would often laugh. Some however just grassed me up for being a twat. That is a fact. I ran away and joined the Army shortly after leaving school. that is a fact. I had tried to run away with the circus, but at the interview, they said they had to many clowns. I was applying to be a lion tamer. That is a joke, and that's a fact.
The best job I ever had, was a to lie on the sofa all day and watch movies. It was my own business and I was the best woman for the job. That is a fact.
My modelling career began after I was told I would look good on canvas. I was interviewed and had test shots done at a local boxing ring. After being punched in the head I lay down. They were right, I got a fantastic photo of myself on the canvas. That is party a fact, and partly a joke. I will add more to this so check back. See you or not. That is a fact.